last night was probably the worst night ever. i got too preoccupied with my first mistake when i stepped in the field to play the second half. i never get too stressed up when playing soccer before. now i just realized that i do. playing right back for yet another game against Sengkang Punggol was very suffering this time. my mind was not completely where it should be. i thought i could shake off the sleepiness and tiredness that i was experiencing before the game, as soon as i started running. but no, i got more lethargic; half way through the second half. i can't really breath properly, my lungs were burning.
but that didn't stop me playing. the shitty thing about it was, i could have slided the striker when i had the chance to. she was like just in front of me. but in my mind, i didn't want to risk the chance of giving up a penalty if i was to tackle the her legs. i hesitated, when i was so close to stop her. but the ball went in. i was so damn irritated. i wasn't ready. i was shouted at for not sliding when i know i should have. that was the moment for me to wake up and start doing my job. but i was so preoccupied. i was scared. i was not playing my best.
i feel like i run more than i tackle. i was defending more than i should, but i didn't put up with it well. i wasn't looking at the ball. i committed. that was the wrong thing to do. i was disappointed. as soon the referee blew the whistle to call for the end of the second half, i was more disappointed with myself. i didn't get the chance to read the game and do my job accordingly. but nevertheless, i don't think i could, because my mind was at the state of hopeless.
i was substitute by another defender, and was told to rest. i didn't sit by the sideline straight away, because i was so disappointed with myself. i went to take a long sip at the water cooler to clear my mind, but it didn't work. so i just stood and try to see how the game should be played.
soon after, i was called by coach to play right midfield. my original position. that was not so fascinating, even though i finally got to play my position again. i almost scored, but fail to put the ball in the net. another disappointment. if not, i could have won back the lost i did earlier in the game. but i didn't. saddening. another part was when i won the ball from the opponent's defender, and i only had to tap the ball to our striker, but i lost it as soon as i turned. i shouted at myself.3rd disappointment of the night. there were chains of other disappointments during the game, i was really torn by it.
this calls for the time to learn. i was told that i shouldn't just evaluate, but also learn from it. think of ways of how i can improve. i can really think of many things on how i can improve. really need to change my style. for now, i have to go.
shaabooya.(went to school with an injured knee, it was terrible!)